these are a few of my favorite things…

Its a new year, and a new resolve to not let our little blog fall by the wayside of a busy life.  For today, a little look at some of Carter’s favorite things of late:

• Paper/paper towels…really anything he can rip to pieces.  So far he really doesn’t care that I promptly take every itty bitty piece away before it can reach his mouth.

• The FRIDGE.  Oh my goodness the fridge.  This boy loves the fridge (and the dishwasher for that matter).  Which makes cooking and getting in and out of it a tad difficult, since he’s a speedy little guy!  I let him climb up in for the purpose of my little photo shoot and he was beyond thrilled.

• Eating solid foods!  This one is a work in progress.  Some days he loves a tray full of bread, fruit, crackers, or cheese.  And other days he’s not so sure.  Change is hard.

• Books.  This boy does a mama proud with his love for books.  He will even sit and flip through them on his own now for short periods of time which is lovely!  We recently discovered the board book section of our new local library and needless to say, we will be returning often.  As much for the books as for…

• People watching.  At 10 months Carter is quite the social butterfly and loves people.  He has been known to turn on the charm with total strangers until he solicits a smile or silly face.  Church is his favorite, since that’s where he’s able to attract the most attention.

• Climbing in and under the kitchen chairs.  Those bars are just the perfect height to put his mouth on.  Luckily he’s figured out how to get OUT, too…so no more getting trapped (:

• Mama’s necklaces.  Who needs toys at church when you can have mom AND a necklace in close proximity?  He’s never met a necklace he didn’t like.

• This one is a bit icky.  He loves the dowels we use to brace our sliding glass doors.  Makes a beeline for them every time.  Ewwww.  I’m constantly taking them away.  But in the meantime I guess he’s building a good healthy immune system?

Until next time!

love, the hills

 

yum? yuck.

We have entered a new phase of babyhood.  A new phase characterized by finding bits of rice cereal in our hair, squash smeared on mom’s shirt, and an increase of baths due to frequent food fights feedings.

On Carter’s 6 month birthday we treated him to his first bites of rice cereal.  He was very intrigued, and overall quite pleased with the gift.

He slurped it all up with very little mess to speak of.  Loved it.  And after it was all gone, he made a grab for the bowl we inadvertently (rookie parents here…) left on the tray.  I can’t say I haven’t been known to lick the ice cream bowl a time or two.  We must be related.

Since then however, we’ve gone a bit downhill.  We’ve moved on to oat cereal in the mornings, rice cereal at night, and just this week, butternut squash.  Rice cereal is by far the favorite of the three, although he’s getting better.  There may have been a gag or two (or 20) on the squash.

Its been a bit of a rockier transition than I was expecting.  He’s not loving everything.  But also more times than not, he’d just rather nurse.  With a little trial and error, we’re figuring it out.  And he’s gotten much better already.  Don’t worry buddy, fruits are coming, and they’re much yummier!  I was also hoping introducing solids would help him sleep through the night a little better, but no luck yet.  Someday…

love,

the hills

halfsies!

 Six months old.  I just can’t believe it.  When did this sweet little sack of flour:

become this busy, curious, moving, mess-making, scooting, rolling, crawling, sitting, babbling, giggling bundle of joy?  Things I want to remember about my boy at 6 months:

– Did I say he was an amazing sleeper?  Scratch that.  Somewhere around 4 months we went seriously downhill and haven’t quite turned it around yet.  He goes down like a champ at 7-7:30pm, but then we’re usually up between 2-3 times a night.  Sometimes hungry, sometimes just happily babbling away to himself (night owl?)  Last night around 4am I noticed some weird sounds coming from our monitor, and when I went in to check on him, he had somehow ended up with the monitor unit in his crib and he was having the time of his life with it haha.

–  We started him on solid foods a few weeks ago.  Check out my last post for all the info on that journey.

–  He’s just started to sit on his own for a few seconds up to a minute or two on his own before toppling over or dive-bombing for a toy.  It makes him look so much older to see him sitting up!

– Although he’s been army crawling for awhile now, he’s also started tucking his knees under, pushing his chest up higher, and rocking back and forth.  Sometimes he’ll launch himself a bit into the old army crawl.  We’ll have a four point crawler in no time.

– He loves shoes.  More specifically, he loves licking and slobbering all over shoes…especially the bottom- yuck!  I’m frequently pulling Joe’s flip flops away from him.  The other day in church he was on the floor with me in the back of the primary room and one of the teachers had bright floral stilettos.  And boy did I have to work hard to keep him away from those, the mother-load of all shoes (:

– Over the past week he’s been much more vocal, babbling and gurgling a ton.  And he went through a phase over the last month where he loved to growl.  He loves to fake cough.  But his all time favorite right now are sneezes, fake OR real.  Whenever I sneeze, I know I can open my eyes to see him grinning at me from ear to ear, double dimples and all.

– He’s quite the determined, curious little guy.  This week I caught him trying to eat the scrub brush on the end of our mop.  He pulled off the door stop from the wall, and the lid from the wipes.  And no amount of pillows can block him from his favorite spot: under and behind our living room end tables (where all the cords are…)  We’re constantly upping our baby-proofing game.

 

Even as exhausting as it can be sometimes, I think one of my favorite parts of motherhood is watching him grow, learn, explore, discover, change.  Spending all day every day with him, I hardly notice it happening.  And then all at once I stop and think, “This is new.  Wait he wasn’t doing this before was he?”  or I study his face and his movements and it seems like something’s a little different, he’s a little older all of a sudden.

What I can’t capture on film, I’m desperately trying to write in my memory.  Because the thing about growing and learning and changing is, once you do it you can’t go back.

love,

the hills

a grand adventure

I wouldn’t ever call myself “spontaneous”.  It sounds nice, and fun even.  But at heart I am much too organized, too much of a planner to fully embrace spontaneity.  But a few weeks ago I came as close as I’ll ever get.  It dawned on us that: 1) Labor day was in a week.  2) Joe has labor day off.  And Wednesdays.  And paid time off available to take a Tuesday.  That’s a lot of time off!  3) My mom would be in town, with no particular plans other than to cuddle sweet Carter.  4) My mom’s extra hands would also be in town.  They go where she goes.  But seriously, with a busy 6 month old baby, an extra set of hands is always helpful!  5) We live 3.5 hours from the South Rim.  How could we call ourselves Arizonians and NOT see the Grand Canyon??

And so in just under a week we reserved a cabin, borrowed a hiking child carrier, dug out our sweatshirts (they don’t get used much…) and headed off for the Grand Canyon!  Like I say, its as close as we’ll get to “spontaneous”.  I kinda liked it.

The weather was phenomenal, the views were breathtaking, and the company was even better.

We stayed in these cute KOA cabins:

They even had a front porch swing:

Since we had a campfire and roasted hot dogs we’re calling it Carter’s first (of many) camping trip.  And since we went up on Monday and stayed through Wednesday, it wasn’t {too} crowded.

We were able to do two hikes down into the canyon, which were well worth the sweat and sore muscles.  We dreamed of the day when we’ll hike from rim to rim.  Someday.  Not with a 6 month old, that’s for sure.  Carter wasn’t so sure about this hiking backpack at first, but soon enough he settled in and had a great nap while we enjoyed the sights.

Overall we had a fabulous time and are so grateful for my mom’s help in surviving such a trip with a wee babe.  Oh, what a beautiful world we live in!

love,

the hills

three months!

Time for a quickie update.  First of all, my how time flies.  I can’t believe its been over three months since I first met this little guy.  As you can see, he’s grown so much!

A little about Carter at 3 months…

– He’s holding his head up like a champ!  Which may or may not have anything to do with the mini physical therapy sessions his dad submits him to.  He just can’t help it…

– He’s an amazing sleeper.  Thank goodness!  He’s slept “through the night” (7:30pm-5:00am) since about 2 and a half months or so.  This week, he started sleeping 12-13 hours at night (7:30pm-8:30am).  It’s wonderful, and we’re wishing upon a star that it stays that way!

– He’s very smiley, and LOVES attention.  We’ve only gotten him to giggle once, but that doesn’t stop Joe from trying his darndest for a repeat.  He loves his daddy and all the fun sounds and faces he can make.

…

I’m loving being at home with our baby boy, and have found the transition from the workforce much easier than I anticipated.  Of course there are always hard days, but overall I am thoroughly enjoying spending my days with this cute boy:

After lots of prayer and deliberation, Joe took a new job here in Phoenix.  The bad news is that he now commutes about 45 minutes each way to work.  The good news is that he works one hour less per day, they’re still building his caseload so he has a bit of downtime, and he absolutely LOVES it.  Not to mention better pay and benefits.  We love where we live, so we’re still debating whether or not we’ll move to cut down his commute.  More on that to come, I’m sure.

Thanks to Joe and his green thumb, our first garden was a complete success.  We grew carrots, green beans, sugar snap peas, turnips, cucumber, lemon cucumber, three kinds of tomatoes, spaghetti squash, basil, and cilantro.  Everything produced at least some, but the cilantro and peas died of heat pretty early on.  We now have beans, tomatoes, and basil pesto in the freezer.  And we counted 19 spaghetti squashes that we promptly passed out to friends and co-workers.  A fun and exciting adventure, which may have gotten us hooked on gardening for many years to come.

Overall we’re doing wonderfully, and can’t wait to spend time with both the Hills and the Nelsons in just a few short weeks!  Until then, we try to survive our first full Arizona summer (:

love, the hills

a letter to myself on mother’s day

I have a love-hate relationship with Mother’s Day.  That is, for the past three years I have hated it, and this year I love it.  I’m sitting here, studying my precious baby boy’s face, listening to his steady breaths, and feeling grateful beyond words to be his mother.

But even though this year I am privileged to call myself a mother, I remember all too vividly the years before.  Years of sorrow, heartache, and dread surrounding this single day.  For two years I found myself dealing with infertility on Mother’s Day.  On the third I had just recently suffered the second of two very difficult miscarriages.

I cannot ignore how Mother’s Day felt during those times.  An entire day, devoted to what was so tantalizingly out of reach.  And so it is for those who are in the thick of that heartache and sorrow that I write today.

This is a letter to myself during these past three years.  During the years of dreading Mothers Day.  It’s what I would say to my former, grieving self… knowing what I know now.  I recognize that everyone’s experiences are different, and I can’t predict how each story will end.  But my hope is that some thread of this will ring true to someone somewhere.  And if not, then perhaps it is just for myself.  To remember.

Dear Darci,

You may not believe me, but this time of your life will pass.  It may not be when and how you planned, but eventually you’ll come to the top of this mountain.  The incline will plateau, maybe even decline.  It will surprise you, because when you’re climbing a mountain, it always seems insurmountable.  It feels as though the long road up will never end.  But I promise you some how, some way, some day…it will.

When you’re standing there at the top, you’ll look over the rocky terrain behind you.  You’ll remember times when you bravely charged ahead up the path, full of determination to attack the challenge head-on.  And then you’ll remember many other times when you had to stop and catch your breath.  Through it all, you’ll remember the hands of so many that steadied and strengthened you to go on.

Then your gaze will focus forward, and you’ll take in the incredible view.  Your chest will swell, tears will come.  As cliche as it may sound, you’ll know then without a doubt that what they say is true.  Only by climbing that mountain, could you witness this vista.  There was no other way.  The view simply could not be as tremendous without such a sacrifice.  Because you paid the price in tears, you can now feel complete and utter happiness.  The greatest joy of your life.

So please, keep on going.  Keep fighting, keep believing, keep trusting, keep trying.  Don’t get down on yourself because you need to catch your breath.  Or because you’re struggling.  Or because it’s not easy.  No one flies up the mountain unchallenged.  Know that it will be hard.  And also know that it will be possible.  Just put one foot in front of the other and trust me when I say, it will end, and it will be worth every tear you shed.  For great sorrow is always followed by great joy.

Someone once shared this quote with me, and it isn’t until now that I truly understand and appreciate it.

“The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss.  That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way.  While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundred fold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.” 

Joseph B. Wirthlin (Come What May, and Love It) 

love, carter’s mother

the day that changed everything

On Wednesday, March 11th, I became a mother. Carter Joseph Hill was born at 1:00 pm, weighing 7 lbs even, 20 inches long.

This is his story.

Friday, March 6th

I went to my 37 week appt. with my OB/GYN. I was surprised to find out that I was already dilated to a 2. I believe the doctor’s exact words were, “I think you’ll be pregnant for another week, but you never know.”
We thought little of it and spent the rest of the weekend putting final touches on our nursery and finishing the last of our baby shopping.

Sunday, March 8th

Joe and I stood in our completed nursery and daydreamed about life with our baby boy. Joe turned to me and said, “I just want to meet him!” And I smiled and said, “I know honey, but there’s still a couple weeks so you’ll just have to be patient.” How wrong I was!

Tuesday, March 10th

About 2:15am, I woke up feeling slightly wet. Not enough to wet the sheets, but enough to wonder if my water broke, or I had just slept through my nightly bathroom trip. My heart started racing and I thought about the possibility of going in to the hospital…but in the end I rationalized that it would be pretty embarrassing if I had indeed peed my pants. So I changed and went back to sleep.

The rest of the night and all day I slowly leaked. I had some mild cramping, but I couldn’t be sure if it was contractions, braxton hicks, or just a mild stomach ache. After all, it was more constant and definitely not anything regular. My mind was a ping pong match…to call Joe and go in to the hospital, or not? Joe works 30 minutes away, and I was home alone so I would likely have to call a friend to take me in to the hospital. In the end I decided I was probably just experiencing a little prenatal incontinence and spent the day laying low and watching netflix.

By about 4:30pm, my “cramps” had evolved into mild contractions and they ranged from 7 minutes to 3 minutes apart, lasting 30 seconds each. The likelihood of going in to the hospital was increasing. But I knew we would still need dinner, so I made one of our favorites: creamy chicken taquitos with cilantro lime dipping sauce.

Joe got home around 6:30pm. We ate dinner, cleaned up, and kept timing my contractions. At 9:00pm we called the doctor and the nurse said, “Yeah, I think we should have you go in… just in case.”

We packed up and arrived at the hospital at 10:00pm. The entire drive to the hospital I thought, “This can’t be real labor…it just feels like little cramps. I’m only 37 weeks. I’m sure they’ll just turn us away, and Joe will get to bed late and be tired all day at work tomorrow. But I guess at least this will ease my mind a bit.” Haha.

We waited for a few minutes and at 10:30pm they took me back and checked me. I was dilated to a 4-5, the head was visible in the cervix, and my water had definitely broken. They gave me some IV medication to ease my pain while they prepared a room for us. They weren’t kidding when they warned me that it might make me feel a little dizzy. That stuff really made me feel…weird. But it did help with the contractions, so I closed my eyes and slept for awhile.

Wednesday, March 11th

After getting situated in the labor and delivery room, the nurse let me know that the anesthesiologist was next door administering an epidural and if I wanted one, now would be a good time to do it. My IV medication was wearing off, and several hours ago I had been dilated to a 5. So at 1:10am I received the epidural, and at 1:45am they checked me and I was already dilated to a 7-8! The fetal heart rate was a little low, so they gave me some oxygen. I asked our nurse how long she thought it would be, and she said its always hard to tell but that she was prepping for a delivery before the end of her shift at 6:00am. It was looking like it wouldn’t be long til we met our little man!

Except it was. At 3:00, 4:30, 5:45, and 7:15am they checked me and the story was always the same. Still an 8. Still an 8.  It was a little discouraging, but I wasn’t in any pain at that point and I knew it would be okay in the end.  Mostly I was just tired of waiting.

We slept as much as we could between nurses coming in and wondering when our babe would arrive. The nurse kept having me change positions to help move things along but every time I laid on one side, the baby’s heart rate would drop. I spent a lot of time with the oxygen mask.

It had now been almost 18 hours since my water had supposedly broken. So about 7:30am they started me on penicillin (which burned as it went in!) and also pitocin to speed up my labor. About this time I was noticing that while I couldn’t feel any contractions, it was quite painful when the nurses checked my progress. And I could move my legs quite easily. As nice as it was to have some feeling, I was worried about how painful delivery might be. So I started pushing that convenient little button to increase my epidural dose. By 10:15am, the epidural finally started working.

At 10:45am and after multiple doses of pitocin, I was having contractions every 15-30 seconds… so the pitocin was also finally working- a little too well. We decreased the pitocin and found that I was dilated to a 9.5, but still not fully effaced on the one side.

By 12:15pm, I was fully dilated, fully effaced, and ready to start pushing. I pushed for 30 minutes, then we called my doctor and she headed over from her office in the building next door. I pushed for 15 more minutes with my doctor there. And finally (17 days early, 15 hours after arriving at the hospital, and 12 hours after receiving the epidural) Carter was born.

He cried just enough that we didn’t worry, but quickly went quiet and looked around with bright eyes. They placed him on my chest and although he had the biggest cone-head and was covered from head to toe in fluid…all I could think was “He’s mine. He’s ours. This is my baby. Mine. Forever.”

What an incredible and priceless gift.

love, the hills

a place for our baby boy

37 weeks.  And we finally have a fully functional, completed nursery!  This was a really fun project (or rather, series of projects) and kept us busy over the past few months as both my belly and our anticipation for baby boy have grown.  So, without further ado…the nursery reveal!

the crib… thanks to my mom for making the adorable bumper pads and bedskirt!

love these printables we found on etsy… “be strong and courageous”, “make wise choices”, “be brave and be kind”

color block curtains- we bought navy curtains for cheap at IKEA and I added the white stripes.

the dresser/changing table. we gave our old dresser a fresh upgrade with new paint and knobs. 

boxes to hold all the diaper changing essentials.

another little project… found this wire basket at target for 50% off and luckily I had plenty of leftover fabric from my curtains to make a laundry bag to fit it perfectly.

we made this giant ruler to copy some we found at hobby lobby

a comfy little reading (and feeding) nook. another shout out to my talented mother who made those adorable accent pillows. and my grandma who sent us that cute book set on the side table.

a little artwork… and the best portraits we have thus far of baby boy (:

ta-da!

Full term.  Nursery is completed.  Hospital bag is packed.  Whenever you’re ready little guy.

bump update

Hey y’all…sorry for the supreme lack of blogging.  I’ve really no excuse other than spending all my time working or sleeping.  We’re enjoying spending a week of Christmas goodie eating, sleeping in, game playing, gingerbread house making, craft doing, sports watching and baby showering here in Washington.  It’s been so, so wonderful.  A much needed break.  In between all the fun I thought I’d just post a quickie update on the bump progress.  Here’s the last 6 weeks:

My only complaints right now are dry/itchy skin, some back pain (squatting in ikea chairs for 10 hours a day doesn’t help with that one…), and intermittant heart burn.  Nothing too terrible though…I’m definitely feeling great and hoping it stays that way!  Plus now I have a decent pregnant belly so no one has to wonder “is she or isn’t she?”

We bought some bold green paint to renovate our old dresser and some beautiful fabric for the baby bedding.  I’m excited to see everything for the nursery come together and I’ll be sure to post with updates on that soon.

As far as names go we’ve got a short list we’re thinking about but since I literally change my mind daily, we’ll keep that under wraps until its a little more set.  So much pressure, this choosing a name business!

And with that I say bring it on, third trimester!

love, the hills

grateful

As many of you know, we are expecting Baby Boy Hill at the end of March 2015. Since we found out in early August, a lot has happened. Let me fill you in.

With our history of infertility and miscarriages, and the lengthy recovery that ensued after our first miscarriage, I assumed we would be waiting for awhile before getting pregnant again. So when I missed a period just 2 months after our 2nd miscarriage, I thought little of it. I put it out of my mind and went backpacking through Canada (: After getting back, my curiosity got the better of me and I took a pregnancy test…it was positive!

Excitement mixed quickly with worry, as we were weeks away from our big move to Arizona. Moving out of Washington meant losing our medical insurance, and our new insurance through our employment wouldn’t go into effect until September 1st (thank goodness our new boss had already offered to waive the 90 day waiting period!) Miraculously, we got in to see an OBGYN in Washington in less than a week so we could check everything before moving. Our doctor was very positive and we left feeling encouraged. Still, we would have about one month without any medical insurance. Which would normally be fine… except that put us on our own for weeks 6 through 10 of the pregnancy. Precisely at the height of the risk for miscarriage. Although I didn’t want to assume the worst, I also knew how much our insurance had covered for our previous miscarriages, and I was nervous.

Summoning all we had learned and gained from past experiences, we did the only thing we could: put our trust in God and let go. It was scary, but my ability to trust God through one more test really showed me how much I’ve grown over the past few years. At the beginning of our fight through infertility, it took all I had to trust God. Like riding a bike, I was wobbly and uncertain. It was hard to fully commit to trusting God rather than just resorting to worrying. But trial by trial, I have become more stable- more certain that God will pull us through. Not by any means perfect, but certainly improved. To trust has become more instinctive. A go-to plan of attack.  I’m sure I will need that trust and faith even more over the next six months.

Today I am 18 weeks pregnant and our baby is healthy as can be. Its hard to believe that I’m really that far along. That we’ve really made it this far. We couldn’t be more excited and grateful for this pregnancy.

And now a look at the belly bump progress:

love, the hills